Don't Bother

So if you are anything like me you've popped into the Icing a few times, drawn by the inexorable pull of cheap sparkly crap. I've bought polish from there before- wear is meh, but not awful for the price you get it at.

The pink one makes me feel like a human cupcake.

If you've been in there recently, you've probably seen this stuff:

 It boasts a "Gel-like finish in under 10 mintues." It never clarifies what is 'gel-like' about it- I have never had a gel manicure but I assumed it would be more resistant to chips and scratching. It was listed at $7.50 each, but 4.25 given the buy one get one offer.

AVOID. It brushed on gloppy and got chunky at the edges of the nail. I used two coats on account of how thick it applied. It DID NOT dry in ten minutes. After a half an hour I could still lightly press a fingerprint in the surface. You can see in these horrible close ups how the second layer rubbed away to show the bubbles it had previously covered up. Chips happened and it looked messy and pretty terrible. Bluh.

The pink stripe is OPI Liquid Sand in Pussy Galore

This is actually the second time I tried this stuff, hoping I did it wrong the first time. The first time it actually peeled off in sheets the size of my nail, taking some of the surface of my nail with it.

I don't know if there IS a cheap alternative to a gel manicure (I was hoping to avoid the uv lights and million extra set-up doodads), but this sure isn't it.

For the three people who read this blog, anything you'd like me to test? 

Shiny Things

So Sephora had a sale and since I live near one now I had a problem day where money was spent. It. Was. Awesome.

I walked away with a bunch of polish for like 20bux, and gave myself a half moon mani to give you guys an idea of what a super shiny manicure will do over a work week.

I used Sephora by OPI in Evy-On The Eyes and Torrid Shimmer. Pretty sure both are discontinued 'cause of being on clearance.

Easy way to give yourself a french/half moon/whatever design is to get those sticky hole protectors and use them to tape off where you don't want polish to go.

Glossy and cute right? Thing is, the shinier your manicure, the more scuffs will show up. If this drives you nuts, stick with a textured polish or use a matte topcoat. Liquid Sand by OPI and Pixie Dust by Zoya are two good examples of fun polishes that wear well.

And here it is after a week. Minor tip wear and my bird liked the orange best so that was peeled off my index finger in short order.

I got nail stickers on sale, so sometime in the future I'll be reviewing those!

ORLY Bonder Review

 Like I posted earlier in the week, China Glaze Champagne Kisses is one of my favorite polishes. Unfortunately, on my nails it lasts only a day or two before it peels off in giant chunks. So I picked up the bonder to see if I could make it last a little longer.

And how! I got a five whole workdays out of this stuff. Made a little sandwich (bonder, polish layer, another layer of bonder, and more polish) and it was amazing. After five days it began to chip, but that's no surprise considering what I put my hands through.There was also the expected tip wear, but my nails were getting too long so I just clipped it off and it looked great!

Here are my hands in all their disgusting glory. That's polishing compound, and it only completely comes off after a hot shower. You can see some came off on my index finger, but that was what my bird tried to pick off. 

  Give it a try. I'll be using this stuff every week.

So here is the general layout of my hands. Because my left hand holds whatever I am working on, it ends up taking all the abuse from the tools held in my right hand. The moment you cut through the center of a ring and don't realize it, slicing right into the flesh of your finger is particularly awful.

 Plus I have these two jerks. One likes to pick at my polish, the other likes to use her beak instead of a simple 'no'.

Right now I'm testing the Orly rubberized bonder with China Glaze's 'Champagne Kisses'. It's hands down one of my favorite polishes, but when it chips it does so in huge flakes. I'm really hoping the bonder makes it last at least a few days longer. So far so good, but I had the last two days off, so wear was light.

We'll see what happens next!

Inaugural post!

So I love reading makeup blogs. I get my color/texture/sparkle fix and then I don't feel the need spend my money unless it was something super awesome. Then just like everyone else who sees something that looks fun and easy I thought 'I could do that'.

So why should you care?

I'm a jeweler. My hands are shit. I have got so many scars and scrapes and dents on my hands that I look like I exfoliate with glass shards. Nail polish makes me feel fancy and covers the black gunk that manages to stay behind after I scrape them clean(ish).

My objective here is to review polish the way it looks a few days AFTER you get your mani and then go to work at the junkyard. The treatments and the lotions and the everything else they throw at a person hoping something to last more than a day.

A traditional polish review will do most people perfectly fine, but I need to know how it acts after you've washed your hands three times, slipped with a metal file, buffed five rings, and then accidentally set it on fire a little.

I'll be back later with some pictures and a review!